I seem to have left my pride at pride
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
