just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
