i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You can't motorboat a personality
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
