Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
