Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
