He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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