Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
