Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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