wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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