mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
