This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
