Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
