Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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