I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
