i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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