Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
