my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
