I can tuck mytits in my pants
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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