He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
