You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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