hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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