I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
