Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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