I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
nutella sex= disaster
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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