the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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