just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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