my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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