so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
