If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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