Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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