is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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