Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
