Dual....:-)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
