Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
