And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
