Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
