Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
