Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
