I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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