Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
