omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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