He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
