i don't like sucking hair
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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