cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
