I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
