im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
