I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
