Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
