Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
