SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
bring money and cleavage
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
