we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
