Define "chronic" masturbator.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
