And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
